Sometimes I crack myself up. Standing in line at the theater (please pronounce "thee-ah-tah" ) bathroom last night, I am staring at the condom machine. It is staring back at me.
I imagine myself (as if in having an out of body experience) squealing with glee. And for the benefit of all waiting behind me, and the others washing their hands and checking the mirror, I say in a very loud voice "Oh wonderful. Thank God! I almost forgot" and then whip some quarters, like say six, out of my wallet. I then (imagining still) go up to the machine and select three marvelous condoms. Slip them into my purse. Turn around to the ladies behind me and say "don't you just LOVE when they make this so conveeeenient?" With a wink, I dissapear into the stall.
I didn't have enough guts to do it. I did however have enough guts to go back and wait for a moment when there was no line, no women primping, and take a picture. I believe I scared the shit out of the woman in the stall just to the left of the machine. I think she thought I was photographing her on the toilet. At least she was in the right place to have the shit scared out of her.
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