Motherhood

On Monday I got to see Andy, take him out to dinner. I was over in the burg for a meeting with a client and of course extended my stay long enough to take my son out for a good dinner. Ellensburg Pasta Company was his restaurant of choice. When I picked him up he handed me a mothers day card and said for you on Sunday. Wow. Kinda surprised me. Without my own mother around any more and no father of my child on the spot, I just don't expect much from mothers day.

In previous confessions on this blog I have already admitted to being a peeker. One who opens presents ahead of time if the opportunity exists. I'm really good at keeping secrets I've been entrusted with. But I'm not so good about making myself wait on surprises for me. So when I got home, after a hairy trip through a snowy pass (in May!), I brought the card home and set it on the counter, willing myself to wait until Sunday. But I didn't. Instead I opened it. And cried. In the card he had written "Mom, I thought this year I would break the tradition of funny cards and keep it simple. I am happy and greatful for such a good mother and friend. Happy Mother's Day. Andy" Admit it...doesn't that make you squeeze out a tear or two?

This morning I got a distressed call from him. He gasped out that he needed my advice. His voice was shaky. My heart sank. A bajillion things went through my head. None of them good.

When he could talk he said he was having some kind of pain and didn't know what to do. I could barely understand him. He had been in class and suddenly had extreme pain underneath his rib. Thought he might have a broken rib but hadn't gotten knocked in that area. Didn't make sense to me. When he called he was about five minutes walk from the radio station which was on the way to Hall Health. We did a series of texting and calling. He was taken by a friend to the Emergency Room where he was put on IV and preliminary guess is that he's got accute mononucleosis with an enlarged spleen. So I've been juggling back and forth. Wanting to fly back over there. Son is urging me to stay put until we learn more: if it's "just mono" he doesn't want to do anything because he has a midterm tomorrow that he really, really wants to get done. Then he says that they've discovered an "infarction" on his spleen which I guess means part of it is damaged and they are trying to decide what to do. In the meantime I am relaying this to his father as he has asked me to do. Mark is all over me to get the name of the doctor and contact number to make sure they know how to get hold of him. I have a flash of feeling like a bad mother: I don't have the doctor's name or number. I am letting Andy handle this because he is an adult though I am very nervously standing by. I remind Mark that Andy is an adult and I don't think they will speak directly to us (though I did grill the nurse who was in with Andy when he called one time).

And these my friends are the highs and lows and rolling in the muck of motherhood. What a blessing to be called "mother." Mother and friend in the same sentence! And then to throw on the shawl of worry and realize that though I am still his mother I am no longer the "mommy" as he starts to take charge of his own life and health. Standing by to take him back into the nest if he needs it. But mostly hoping his wings will carry him through.

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Post Script: He is home from the hospital, putting off the painkillers so he can study some for the mid-term and determined to recouperate at school. Letting go...slightly...

PPSS: I'm going over to collect him tomorrow after his mid-term. He decided a weekend home would be beneficial and I feel much more comfortable having him here to get him started on recovery and seeing for myself that he's OK.