Thursday, October 22, 2009

Life Right Now

I do not like this time of year. My life feels very compartmentalized. There is work. And there is a very little bit of not work. I leave for the office when it is dark. I get home late when it is dark. When home, by the time I throw together a little dinner, take the dog out to do his business and check the computer it is time for bed. Then it seems I just turn around and do it again. The cuts we made in staff and our (paid) hours are now pinching. Seems we are getting the work but don't trust that it's here for the long run. So we work our butts off and work the butts off of our support and it seems there's a lot left in the air. Big chunks of my weekends have been spent on yet more work and some volunteering for causes I eagerly support. Those are times I really enjoy. But it feels like something is missing. Especially during the week. Think I am missing movies and going out with friends. (Everyone is busy with work right now it seems). I am missing doing anything creative: my Muse is out of town I guess. And I miss having someone else around the house. This morning when I drove to work I was actually missing being married. Kind of surprised me.

I realize in this economy that I am so very, very lucky to have a job and work to do. I don't waste much time worrying about the uncertain workload down the road. It certainly is not as dependable as it was a few years ago. But so far my personal load has not backed off much. And I still have trouble getting the support I need since I had to let go of my #one assistant. But others are doing amazing stretches to help me. I am overdue on a gazillion things, it feels like. And posting this post is not helping that. So I'm back to the desk and the work at hand. (insert heavy sigh here....)


Laura said...

where has October gone?
where does all of this work even get us?
I was just thinking how this is my favorite time of year..but actually, I don't think it is anymore. It used to be a time of pumpkin patches, apple picking, getting married, cooking, drinking wine...and now? It is just work. Work I need to get done before Christmas.

And ya know what is ironic, I AM married, and many days I feel as if I am all alone...wishing I had that new married love feeling.

Anonymous said...

Aw, Sis! I can SO relate. Just this morning I was thinking about how I wake up after a good night's rest and I'm still tired. I think the lack of sunlight hours gets to us all. I have felt stressed with the workload as well. One thing I can appreciate about my job: the kids come in fresh and excited every day, they hold no grudges, and they are so easily entertained. Stella has peeked out from behind her dark cloak a few times in the past few days. Now that's refreshing! Love you so. Hang in there. YKW (You Know Who)