Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day

I hope all you Mothers had a wonderful Mother's Day. Mine was sweet, bittersweet, but mostly sweet (and not bitter, just bittersweet). I love being a mother. My son keeps me tethered to this earth, causes me to think twice about things I should think twice about, frustrates and then amazes me, gives me hope (and fear), makes me proud, and has turned into a genuine nice guy whom I enjoy spending time with. I am really getting glimpses into the man he is becoming and I like what I see. Any doubts I had in the difficult years, or at times when the worst side of either of his parents seems to be in his dominant gene pool, are superseded by the goodness he displays. He is a responsible young man. Lessons learned in the bad choices he made in the formative years seem to have done the trick…so far. I don’t worry when he is out with friends. Though sometimes forgetful or not paying attention to important details (he is after all a man!) his intentions are good. He is sweet with me, and the occasional pissy moods, back talk and slamming doors are short lived and followed by extreme niceness, if not an apology (both his pissy moods and mine).

While the main reason for his being home this weekend was for a job interview (I’m not kidding myself that it was for Mother’s Day) we had a good times. He helped around the house between job interviews, doing homework, getting together with friends and attending to other family obligations (i.e. with the exes). We had a fun trip to Viet Wah market in Chinatown where we got fixings for a good dinner Saturday night when we dined with friends on the patio (yay, first official outdoor meal of the season). He had gone out earlier on Saturday to pick up a Mother’s day gift and card and surprised me with it before dinner. A lovely bamboo bowl, porcelain chopsticks and small Asian sauce plates (and a few Asian beers…I don’t want to know how he bought those since he isn’t quite 21 yet) which we used with dinner that night. We had a great time prepping in the kitchen and talking about the kitchen equipment and other furnishings he might need for next school year when he is moving out of the dorm and into a cottage near campus with a few other classmates. He also successfully beat out several other students for a paid job next year with the campus radio station where he currently has a weekly show. He’ll be supporting some of his room and board and is excited to do so. He’s liking some independence.

This summer he will be living at my place, working outside the home (hopefully), and doing some porch painting for me. It’s kind of nice to have someone who asks me when I get home from work (and genuinely cares) how my day was and what I did when I get home from work. It almost makes up for the monotony of having to think about meals and keeping the kitchen stocked. When home he actually does much of the dinner cooking. It’s just the “What are we having for dinner?” question that I have happily gotten used to not having to answer. We are heading off to a week together in Scotland mid-June, just after he’s out of school and before I head on to Italy for the big birthday celebration. I am really looking forward to this time together. We haven’t travelled much to fun places, just the two of us anyway, so this will be a new adventure.

So, being a mother and celebrating that is great. The bittersweet part is the fact that I no longer have my own mother around to honor on Mother’s Day. She’s been gone now for over 17 years. She will always be 59 years old to me, which means I’m only ten years younger than her now. How strange is that? How much stranger will it be when I am older than her? No roadmap to follow. It makes me too sad to write much about it here. I always miss her but Mother’s Day is an exceptionally tough one in this regard. The best gift she gave to me is my sister and through her I am able to keep my mother always present. God bless you Mom. Happy Mother’s Day from my heart to yours and to my wonderful sister.


PS: I meant to blog on May 7th a special birthday wish for my sister. My birthday greetings to her included: “… Happy Birthday my most precious sister. Alright, so I used to be miffed when you got a present on MY birthday, but now I realize that the bestest gift I ever got was YOU! I love you and can't wait to spend a whole week with you soon. It never matters where or when we get together. Every time is a gift. I love you HUGE….”

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG! What can I say? I wish I could express myself, my genuine feelings, so well in words - like you! Mother's Day is hard for me too, but thanks to your reflection, and very kind words, I realize that yes, our mother gave us the greatest gift ever - each other. I love you so. Sis