Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Safe Dating

I am not ready to date. I am not sure how to get over that, but that’s just how it is. The thought of going out on a one-on-one date sends my body all the classic signs of anxiety. Jeesh. Why can’t I get over it? It might be the fact that I haven’t been on a date (with anybody I cared about…there have been a few practices that I didn’t care about) since I was not even twenty, when I met my wasbund. I certainly don’t feel as attractive as I did in my twenties. And mostly when I think about a committed relationship I think how much complication that would add to my pretty nice life that I have right now. There are lots of times when I think it would be nice to be doing something with a significant other, and it sure would be nice to put a caring male companion down for an “emergency contact.” It would be wonderful to have somebody to help with some of the things I haven’t figured out how to do around the house for myself. And my physical self has not gone to the grave yet, if you know what I mean. But the main reasons I have not entered into the world of internet dating or going to singles events like dances or speed dating are #1: the anxiety; #2: the fear of feeling like I’m at a Jr. High dance and nobody asks me to dance, and #3: if I don’t feel like I’m ready to date it wouldn’t be fair to represent myself as so, assuming that any guy who is out there looking IS ready for a relationship.

But I have agreed to do something in the dating world that I am OK with and am actually looking forward too, with only minor degrees of anxiety…so far. This is a “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” event that my friend Linda is organizing. This is how the invitation reads:

Please join me for a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Party" on Saturday, May 30, at 5:25 P.M. You probably know that at a guess who's coming to dinner party, who will be at your party will remain a mystery until all the guests arrive. After the dinner we'll all meet up at one home for dessert. We'll be cooking the dinner together and sharing in the cleanup. The goal of this party is to help you get connected with other singles. So come and meet someone new and it could be the beginning of a lasting friendship!

The guest list of 88 is divided up into 11 groups of eight: four each single men and single women. They meet at the home of a participant who has volunteered to host. The host decides the menu, splits needed ingredients into seven and sends the list to the organizer. Two days before the event, the organizer sends each participant directions to the host’s home and the list of what they are to bring. When they get there, everyone gets involved in the cooking, the meal is shared and then everybody goes to one place where dessert and company is shared with all the participants.

This is what I like about this concept: though everyone involved will be single, nobody is matched up. There is an involved activity which alleviates the discomfort of figuring out what to talk about. And you can find out a lot about other people by how they work together on a project.

I have to tell you that when I called my friend I said I’d participate under the condition that we could do it at my house (maybe there’s a control thing going on but I feel a lot less anxious just having the hosting to concentrate on) and that, when splitting up the participants, she doesn’t send any dweebs to my party! That wasn’t nice, but since I’m not doing much on the dating scene I might as well do what I can to help the odds.

When I was married, for New Years Eve Mark and I often hosted dinner at our house and I organized it so that our friends all participated in the cooking, making various courses in small teams. It was always fun and a good way to pass the hours until midnight. So this event hit a fond note with me. I’m planning a Thai meal. The menu will be MIANG KAM (otherwise known as “Weird Tidbits Wrapped in a Leaf”), pork satay with peanut sauce, beef mint salad and red chicken curry on rice. (Thanks Nikki for the loan of the rice cooker) Somebody will be bringing Thai beer. The Satay and curry recipes are in my cookbook. The other two recipes come from a wonderful local Thai cooking expert, Pranee, who teaches great classes and does market tours. Info on her classes and some of her recipes can be found on her blog, which is here. My blog piece about my experience with her in the Chinese medicine shop is here.

Unfortunately my kitchen ceiling is opened up at the moment and won’t be fixed until when I’m gone on my trip. But the yard is beautiful and, if the weather is good, the patio will be irresistible. Eight is pretty cozy in my little house but I guess that way everyone has to interact at all times. And if somebody has major OCD problems with the open kitchen ceiling, it’s best we ferret that out right away! OCD and I would not be a good match.


Anonymous said...

Oh,Sis! What a hoot! You will surely have a good time. I'm glad some new peeps will get to enjoy YOU and your wonderful place. I'll look forward to hearing how it went. I wish I could enjoy the yummy food too. j

Nikki said...

This sounds like a fun party! I wish I could be a fly on your wall this Saturday! I hope the rice cooker works well. I haven't used it in a very long time, so you may want to test it out on Friday night to see if it will actually makes rice. :-) Or you may actually get some weird tidbits in a leaf of lettuce! Enjoy your weekend. Can't wait to hear/read how it goes!

Amie@WildOlive said...

Saw your comment about our Wild Olive Tees and our sizing. Wanted to let you know that our sizing chart we have listed is from our tee supplier, Alernative Apparel and it is meant to me a sizing recommendation. If you are normally a size 6-8, then you would order a M, or a L depending on what shirt style you order. And we don't have any shirts that are 6-8, and considered an XL. The shirts these are printed on are fitted and run SMALL, so the sizing chart is meant to help people determine what size might be right for them in these fitted tees. It helps to ensure that customers are getting the right tee for them the first time.

I hope that clears things up! :)