Friday, July 3, 2009

Fashion Trend in Italy

Warning…fashion trend in the wings. Italy is where really cool fashion comes from. People dress to be seen. Aside from the obvious tourists (like us) you see wonderful fashions in Florence. So, somebody, please explain to me…the pants. The drop-crotch, MC Hammer, hippy-dippy, overloaded diaper look that pretty, thin young girls, really styling girls, were seen wearing. It’s not like everyone had them on. Sightings were maybe three or four a day. But the women wearing them. They were trendsetters. You could tell. It was sooo funny. Scary too.

I am sorry. I did not get pictures. I was just too stunned to fish out my camera. But these pictures should give you the idea. Here are my concerns.

How do people walk in these things? It seems like really little steps are necessary. Like wearing a too tight pencil skirt. I mean the inseams are only a few inches long. From the ankles. Oh, and you wear them with spike heals. Stilettos. “Have sex with me now” shoes. Only would men really want to have sex with a girl whose crotch may be so overused she can’t fit it into a normal inseam?

Um, the thigh rash problem. Such a fashion does not protect one from the chaffing of the chubby inner thighs rubbing together. In hot, city in the summer weather. Some people I know have that problem. I’m just saying… But those bitc*es who have those legs that don’t come together at the top. The ones you can see light through. (hate ‘em). I realize this is not THEIR problem if they wear these silly pants. But if you have legs like that why would you wear these pants? What could they be hiding?

Hmmm. It is tempting. No frustration in the fitting room. No binding. No straining with cramming your leg into those of pants. Ones that the label size fit two weeks ago. No tears and cussing. At least until you look up to the mirror. Can you imagine the horrors? These things looked ridiculous on the thin Italian fashionistas. The most unflattering things ever. How would they look on real sized women? May we never find out. I mean really.

I nearly choked on my gelato. The yummy three scoops of creamy goodness. The delicious nectar of the Gods. The reason I’m now considering the purchase of similar pants. Because, despite all the reservations I have about these hideous new fashion statements, one could fit a lot of gelato into those pants. If you see me walking down the street in these pants, in my “have sex with me now” shoes, taking little constricted steps, please understand that it’s not the gelato. It’s a new trend. I will take it in the thighs (with a rash) to show you how to be fashionable.

No pictures please.

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