Friday, September 4, 2009

About Face (Book)

It’s sick. And a sickness. Facebook, that is. So called “social networking.” Really? It’s a freakin’ weird “social” if you ask me. Fine line walking is what I do with it. So many people I talk to had the same experience as I did: you venture into it with one toe because one person lures you in with an offer to share pictures of something intriguing. Then as soon as you “accept” the network is spun. Little fingers poke through your addresses and every email you ever sent or received and before you know it there are a bajillion names that this freaking computer suggests you should consider being friends with. Really? What does my computer know about what I require in a friendship?

I have “ignored” many requests to be friends. But it feels mean. Like I am saying “no, I don’t want to be your friend.” Which isn’t the truth. I just don’t want to have a Facebook relationship. Though it feels like I am in 7th grade and have determined that someone can’t be in my group of friends. I hated having that done to me in 7th grade. I hate doing it to others now that we are way past 7th grade. But I really don’t want people I don’t have much interaction with to be privy to my everyday stuff. Or my friends' every day stuff. And then there’s the guy who is on the friend list of a mutual friend. Every time I post something on my friend’s wall he invites me to be his friend. Every time I push that little ignore button. Umm, is he familiar with the saying “She’s just not that in to you”? This is one I really do not want to be a friend with. Let’s get a clue, buddy. And me? Well I am too self protective to ask to be anybody’s friend that I think might not want me to be. I don’t want to feel that 7th grade rejection. And so I don’t even set myself up to be ignored. (By the way….this is a major reason why I have not even ventured onto the on-line dating thing. I’d rather live with the fantasy that I might possibly be winked at by a decent possibility than face the possible truth that nobody would be interested in me. I am avoiding 7th Grade all together! Ha.)

And then on Facebook, I can’t help but play the 6-degrees of separation game. I check out the friends of my very limited set of friends (I mean the Facebook ones). And then if I recognize a potential connection I check out the friends of that friend of a friend. And so it goes. Which is how I ended up in the very sick place of realizing that my Wasbund has more Facebook friends than I do. Ewww ick. Ick because I find that I care. Ick because, well, in my humble opinion, he’s just icky. Ick because I find that I care even though I suspect that he’s accepted every invitation he’s ever received to be on Facebook and I, as I said earlier, am being particular so ick that I should even feel badly that on Facebook terms he has more friends. But mostly ICK because I actually did this: followed thread of friend to friend to friend to find that my ex and I are at 4 degrees of separation. Why couldn’t I leave well enough alone?

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