Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Bah Humbug!

How are we to keep our sanity in this period of isolation in the middle of the City? Andy is seriously getting a can of chili in his stocking. And a tropical air freshener palm tree to hang from his rear view mirror. That's about what I found at the Little Store. My house looks like a train wreck and I am eating non-stop totally out of boredom. Only problem is my grazing is getting more and more creative. Saw a terrible movie on Pay-per-view where Meg Ryan pulls a cube of butter out of the fridge and alternatingly dips it into cocoa and then a bowl of sugar and gnaws at it between crying jags. Pure inspiration, I tell you. I almost found myself doing the same a few hours later. My hill is slicker than snot and several inches thick of ice from what I can tell. I may not get my car out until I get back from Sudan. I am inviting my neighbors over for dinner tomorrow. I need something to make me clean my house up. Andy is worried I will be using up valuable food resources. I reminded him of the Donner Party and told him I am just checking out the future menu. The up side is I am using up lots of food that has been in my freezer for a while. The down side is I am using lots of food that has been in my freezer for a while. We had tacos last night on shredded shells. Did you know taco shells do not hold together after a year in the feezer? We pretended we were eating tostados. At least they were pretty.

Forgive me for going on so long. I haven't spoken with other women in a while. Satchmo and I are now having two way conversations but we're having a hard time relating to each other. Please fill me in on your McGiver cooking adventures. Or anything. Really.

(Later...Next Day)

Update...I'm changing my strategy. On an optimistic fit with reports from neighbors we decided to try to go into town. We hiked to the bottom of the hill. Dug a load of snow off the car. Kicked a path for the car through the slush and snow on the side of the road (note to Santa: I really, really, really want a shovel. That's all). Then I get in the car while Andy stands by the side to watch. Car just slides towards Andy. Then we rock back and forth. He yells at me when the wheels spin. He does not understand the art of slush driving. But then apparently, neither do I. I try another time but he is standing right where the car slid last time. I ask him to move so I don't run him over. He hold his glove up. I know there is a middle finger in there somewhere. He stomps off. I slide and give up. I am so frustrated. I am angry and sad and I do understand his grouchiness but really. The neighbors are not coming over for dinner. They got out and are dining out. They are not as desperate as we are for company. It's just as well. I've decided to eat my son. Put him out of his misery, take care of the food issue and get half the grouchiness out of the house. The other half belongs to me. I am going to bed. Bah humbug.

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